would have left this totally stagnant and standing alone if not for my LTB mates' itchy hands at fishing personal information. somehow decided to return after viewing my entries. they used to sound more sophisticated and calmer, as compared to how exuberant my entries pretend to be currently.

the friend from the past said a warm hello to me today. won't say it didn't feel good, but kinda kicks me back to the times when we truly had loads of fun. also won't say i'm not having fun now, but the post-cny break has been nothing but miserable. everything comes crashing down and i feel extremely crushed; i need a hand to pull me out of this shithole.

i am sick of staying up till 2am every tuesday night, waiting for a miracle to happen and to wake up at 6am, realising i've only slept a meagre 4 hours and starting my painful day all over again.

i just knew that very fateful day would come. the day when the fleeting off to another group inevitably happens and the indifference to it all. could i ever be wrong; i hope i am.

on a worse note, my moods have been winding up and down like some network. one moment i am super happy, the other i just feel like dying. and everything was not to be.

some weird thought flashed through my mind today. i was standing at the platform today and i thought how it'd feel like if i simply walked down to the tracks and just simply end everything. i don't know what made that appear nor how it disappeared but i can only remember thinking that manner.

please, make things pick themselves up and let everything fall into place. i need a miracle.

oh yes my tiny miracle happened today. thank you priscilla for everything albeit it being very small (:
truly made my day.

kim couldn't have described it better.
thursday was spent sleeping till 2am because I only sustained a short sleep of 2 hours during the night before. am nevertheless happy after clearing my major projects, though sara and I spent a bomb at this pasta restaurant at raffles city. kim and shuching were clever enough to share their pasta and their chocolate fudge cake and despite paying less, they ended up more satisfied than any of us.

friday was a day of talks, gossips, watches and shopping at town. gave myself a reward of a green kimono top and grey shorts from topshop and continued lusting over nine west thongs and aldo heels. drooled over this young boy who couldn't stop running in and out of starbucks while remembering law concepts on and off. kim and shuching jumped into a state of frenzy when nick called to inform he was driving. then we rushed all the way to the carpark where nick probably thought he was extremely visible, then i ended up in a pirate car which brought all of us to dempsey road instead of home.

at one am, we were stranded in a group study room in school, while the others enjoyed their six-flavoured icecream out of ben and jerry tubs.

saturday was spent wasting my morning away again, then off to meet some old friends. before which i did a lot of printing, and a lot of running in heels from bizschool to lawschool.

but i realised, or rather i should have realised - some things or some people never change. they'll always remain as disgusting as they once were.